Recovered babblings at 1 AM

Recovered babblings at 1 AM


Hello of sorts.
This is me.
Can you hear me?
understand me or will you accept me?
I ask this of you
this is my communion
I am your priest your lover your hater.
Do you know me?
you pass by me like a child running

I long for you
and no this is not just a love thing
This is a cry for help
more of a yell
late at night when it’s safe

Self pity, seems like old hat to me
I throw it on the fire
I need it to keep warm
warmth like a sheet no a blanket
it protects me
It is my soldier
this a mirror
a reflection of nothing but what was
A new beginning that will constantly start again
I am a star dimmer and the brightest one

Look around you quickly then suddenly stop
feel the dizziness as it surrounds you

This the merry go round
Note the word merry as it disappears
In that childhood distance
As we place it on the highest self
Now we keep it hidden
On display in a vacant store house
Our mind has lost it's map and
As dust settles on our sub conscious
The merry goes round and round



The feeling at this movement is tranquil
and I press the keys down hard
with authority
for I am not afraid
The words resonate in the night
As I think of you

How beautiful you are
the ugliest one is now so wonderful
Why?
Belief?
These words are mesmerizing
The world is de moralizing
Things at one o'clock I'm realizing

I start again for I can
Look around you
this time slow and breathe
always remember to breathe
now did you see that
so slow graceful like a dancer on wet grass
this a spider my entertainment

I ask again is pain beautiful
for it makes you feel
Close yourself off for an instant
Nothing can enter
nothing can touch you
do you feel safe?
Are you alone?
Do you hate yourself?
Do you love yourself?
What about that person next to you
or in the next room the next
They are beautiful
they are there for you
touch them
engulf their energy.
Give them yours
share.





What am I receiving this negative?
I hate negative energy,
and that word
it’s like no
or I can’t
You are wrong
you can
you should.



The love is in sight
the truth is in you.
Locate it.
Touch it.
Grab hold and don’t let go.
You are in love with yourself
now you are in love
feel the air go inside and out
it is whole
it makes you whole.
Like a God.
We are everything
the beginning the middle and the end
we are the truth
we create the myth
We will conquer
become one with the universe
we will thieve on each other.

Hello it is me again are you still there?

Sometimes I lose my place
and get to excited
and forget the pace
this is for you as much as for me
I will tell you something
I love you.
you know it
soft and corny eyed
as we become
hard shells our walls get to thick
sometimes we forget


Condemn me
if you must
push me away
if you must
call me weak
hate me
you can fear me
I will still love
I will bombard you with this
You can never understand me
Even as we are one we are truth we are hope.

there is hope
a faith we cannot fully comprehend
there is a whole
we must put the pieces together
Do not shut out the world
do not wallow in your despair
SCREAMS SCReams Screams screams
do not conquer yourself with hatred
do not close yourself off.
Answer with a affirming yes
and then touch me.
Say you love me
I need it as much as blood or breath
I need to know
I am loved
I need to know
I am whole
I need to know
I am.

Look around you again and scream life.
Exude it like a light
Enter me like a rain drop into a puddle
Accept me and embrace me.
Do not control me
affirm me like a teacher
and yes teach me all you know.
Carry me over the wet ground
but let me experience the water
Let me hurt
but not for to long.
I need experience
but pain is a drug
as I snap crack and power pop
I'll open up for the world to see
And have my naked truth dances through the crowd at rush hour
I am not worried that it will segregate me from the heard.
the heard is never heard.

Grab my hand and let us flow together,
Like a child into loving arms after a bad dream
Dropped ice cream
let me in and keep me warm.
Listen. Now into dream

It's real like glass
see through and go through.
It is me
it is here for you to take up and
share
I am whole when you give to me
You are distant
because I am alone
when you are right in front of me.
Enter me
conquer me
and we will breath.
And we will begin

BREATHE!

Run and dance
through the heat of winter
the cold of summer
enjoy the leaf like it is a poem
for it is.
Enjoy this solitude like a poem
for it is.
I miss the company
I miss the smell of you