babblings in the confessional part 1

babblings in the confessional part 1

why should I lie
and hold back contempt

to release a vengeance inside
that becomes hate

then I am deserving of this lack of security
deserving of this self loath
deserving of this contained rage
deserving of this fate

then to awake to a new morning only to ask
did anyone tell the truth
did anyone feed the cat
did anyone want to love me
ha - imagine that

well I'm so tired of sex
I've been fucked over so many times
not once did I fell complete
just left alone to compete
in this lonely redundant world

so I enter a new realm
innocent laying in bed
as midnight sweat leaves my head
I fight and struggle then give in
these covers continue my sin
searching for this reality to end

then to a screaming vow
I hate you
but don't mean it
I love you
and can't believe it
this is the non - sense
I talk over and over again
I need a gun
a shot gun at that
end this misery
so you can watch it on TV
no I'll wish on a lash
some more childhood myth
that never lasts
followed with a crash
as I cash in on you

and you so full of shit
how can you stand yourself
how can you stand to kill
how can you stand to breathe
and I wish upon you life
death would be too easy

how I long for an instant
of pure and true thought
how I long to be able to care
in this world of hate
it's this wit
to the wind I spit

and as to truth
mother father
give rebirth to me
there will be no more
soul torture lie
I believe in love
I cry
the blues are too easy

and this my oath
to nothing I'll succeed
and in the end enter that guilty plea

as you continue to talk
cough up blood
that black soot inside
and wonder why

this is the way in the out
can't stand it anymore
no longer to point
as headlines read
another life another death

and what is worse
I can't change the course
I need - I want
to explode
to give into society rule
be the babbling fool
only when you mindless sheep
take up your own quill
write up your own will

for the end is near
the end is here
it's waiting for a new drug
in Times Square